I don't know why I'm like this, but ever since I can remember I've always been against porn of something once I've started to like it, unlike what I'm guessing is 90% of everyone who would like to see what is only hinted at in canon depicted by fans. For example, take Chobits - I see a bit of myself in the lovable and ever-so-slightly perverted lead male Hideki and have somewhat grown to admire the wide-eyed optimism of his magical girlfriend Chi; it was the second manga I ever bought and the first series I ever completed and thusly I take it as a personal affront to my honor when I see some random person on the Internet put them together in some lecherous doujin (and she can't even have sex! Her reset switch is down there!). In contrast, I don't a flip-flying fuck about anything Naruto and his loli harem have to say, do or feel about anything, so I'm fine perusing the multiple combinations of ninjutsu-based dickery that Rule 34 has cooked up, whether they be m/f, m/f/m, m/m, m/s(nake) or m/m/t(ree). Hell, I liked the Spice & Wolf doujin before I watched the show, but since then I can barely manage to get through the first eight pages without squicking out and closing the folder.

Now over the past three days or so I've logged around 17 hours playing Fate/stay night and I currently find myself in a situation I do not care for. The three protagonists - Emiya, Rin and Saber - are hiding in a ramshackle building in the woods surrounding the castle of the current big bad, Ilya. Their ally and "friend" Archer has just sacrificed his life against Ilya's pet/plaything Berserker so they could escape. As they huddle inside this bedraggled cabin of sorts, they know that the only one who could even stand a chance of defeating Berserker and help them all see another day - Saber - is not long for this plane of existence due to the fights she has been in the past few days having drained her of the energy she needs to remain. But if they could replenish her energy, everything would be super-special-awesome! But wait - her master, Emiya, is inexperienced; and due to the fact that he summoned her wonkily, he does not have a standard magical path to replenish her energy.

But... there is another way...

As her master he has a physical, as well as spiritual, path to replenish her energy. And so the time has come that if he wishes to survive he must exploit it.

In short, now he has to fuck her.

And thus F/SN has managed to hit me the same way as Chobits and Spice & Wolf. Originally this didn't bother me - hell, I knew there were sex scenes in this game, it's kinda the reason why I torrented (oops, bought) the game in the first place - but now as I am on the cusp of vindicating the effort I have placed in the game, I stand at the precipice with trepidation, instead of eagerly leaping into (supposedly apathetic) debauchery. And amazingly this is what's keeping me from the game: I originally didn't care about the characters unless they had breasts and were going to be showing them soon so I decided to play the game with reckless abandon, but in the 17 hours I've played since then I've grown to like the characters, learn their strengths and weaknesses, figure out what makes them tick, and generally want to see them not get plowed by a chauvinistic dumbass with a nasty habit of giving himself mortal wounds every 15 minutes.

I feel as though something is wrong with me in this regard, that I originally got the game to see breasts and now that I have the chance to do so I shy away, and I have no idea on how to correct it. Some people might say to just nut up and watch the scenes, which is probably what I'll do to see the rest of the game, but while just getting it over might solve some symptoms, it isn't the cure, which I'm scared to say is moving towards therapy. If I sit down on a couch, I plan on blowing the shrink's mind, that's for damn sure though.

P.S. Only m/m/t is fake.

P.P.S. I know they redid the game with the sex scenes taken out, but that would take more time to torrent (oops, buy) and I don't feel like it.